7 Things To Say To A New Momma Surviving The Fourth Trimester…

The fourth trimester is the 12-week period immediately after the Mother has the baby. Not everyone has heard about it, but every mother and their newborn baby will go through it. It is a time of great physical and emotional changes as the new Momma adjusts to her new life.

Having said that, many first time moms are faced with well-meaning family members, friends or even strangers asking about their well-being but in back-handed ways that can make a mother feel inadequate or like she is doing something “wrong”…

“Are you breastfeeding?”

“Are you Normal or CS Delivery?”

“Is she a good baby?”

“Does he sleep through the night?”

“Does she cry a lot?”

Questions like these often spark a bit of resentment and inadequacy in new moms who are already experiencing a variety of emotions, and sleep deprivation, that can make them read into a well-meaning question in a different way than they are intended simply because their emotions are running high.

With that in mind, here are things to say to a new mom instead:

1. How are you feeling?

Simply checking in can be helpful and meaningful. See how a mom is doing, and listen without automatically giving unwanted advice.

2. Do you want to tell me your birth story?

Not everyone wants to tell their birth story, but it can be a healing option for new moms, especially if their birth was particularly empowering, or less than ideal. Be a non-judgmental listening ear.

3. You look amazing!

Adjusting to new motherhood can be a challenge in many ways, especially the physical changes that come along with pregnancy and the postpartum period. Give a new mom a self-esteem boost.

4. What errands can I do for you?

Although it may not seem like much, offering to do an errand or getting any necessities from a store for your friend with a new baby can be a huge help. Going out with a newborn is difficult, and it’s even worse when you forget that one thing. Sending her a quick message to offer to pick anything up that she needs can be huge for her.

5. Can I send you over a meal?

Food is so important after having a baby. Food that a new mom doesn’t have to cook herself is even better. Find out her favorites and stop by to drop some off or have it delivered.

6. Go take a nap while I sit with the baby.

Sure, sleeping when the baby sleeps is great. But what about letting mom nap while the baby is awake so that when the baby is sleeping she can go take a shower, have her “ME time” or let her relax for a while.

7. You are a great mom and I am proud of you.

This is something every mom needs to hear, especially new moms who are full of questions and doubt. Hearing that they are doing a good job can be life changing. Tell her why you’re proud: for breastfeeding, for being strong, for continuing on despite sleeplessness, and making it through childbirth delivery during this time.

Being a new mom is tough. When your friend or family member has a new baby and you aren’t sure what you can do to help, just try to remember what you needed when you were in her situation. Chances are that she needs the same sort of things in terms of help with the baby, help around the house, or emotional support.

How about you, what do you want to hear as a new mom?

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