Bo Sanchez' 8 Parenting Lessons Covid Taught Me

Provinciated Mooma
Jun 29, 2021
5 min read

Updated: Jul 14, 2021

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There is a saying that crises reveal character and help you reach great successes. It is during these times when people get to reflect, therefore grasping personal thoughts better. This is what happened to Brother Bo Sanchez. “I’m grateful I had COVID,” he said.

More often than not, people are obsessed with control. They keep forgetting that there’s a higher Being who actually takes care of everything and loves them more than anyone. Brother Bo then realized how liberating it is to let go—to totally leave his children up to God as his life may end anytime. Having COVID-19 has become a humbling experience for him especially when he fully accepts that the only thing he can control is his perspectives. Thankfully, now that he is well, he wanted to share 8 parenting lessons COVID has taught him, which he did in a webinar last June 12, 2021.

Brother Bo has two sons whom he loves dearly. When he was battling the virus with an oxygen tube attached to him, he said to the Lord “I’m surrendering my life to you”. This includes his family and everything that he possesses. He experienced profound peace during that time. As he absorbed all the thoughts that came rushing onto him, his perspectives also changed particularly when it came to parenting.

1

Surrender your life to God more.

There is this phenomenon called scapegoating where the children are being blamed for the parents’ lapses or wrongdoings. Basically, the problem is the parents and not the child.

It is crucial to be able to differentiate between the presenting problem and the real problem. The presenting problem is merely a symptom of the real one which is the root of the concerns in the family that are often being attached to the children. Difficult questions such as dysfunctional marriage or low self-worth must be addressed to save the child from any burden they do not deserve. Parents should surrender their hurts, insecurities, and attachments to God in order to break free from what weighs them down.

2

Surrender your kids to God more.

“God loves your children more than you do,” said Brother Bo. He claims that this lesson will free you from a lot of worry or anxiety. When Jesus said “do not worry” in Matthew 6:25, there is no footnote that says “mothers are exempted.” Therefore, it’s best to accept early that you cannot control your children’s environment, friends, and decisions. Do what you can to be the best parent you can be but there are things that you have to leave up to your children and to God which leads to the third lesson.

3

Trust your kids more.

How can your kids trust themselves when you don’t? As long as you planted values in them when they were small, you can rest assured that those values will largely impact their character as they grow. After all, “I will not be part of their lives once I’m gone,” Brother Bo easily shared. Parents must therefore give their children that space for mistakes which could help them grow. There’s such a thing as over-parenting or micro-managing. The following are the 6 signs of over-parenting:

You have too much power struggle with your child.
You worry too much for your child.
You micromanage your child’s life.
You try to control how others treat your kids.
Your expectations are not age-appropriate.
You over-indulge your child and thus you make them spoiled.

When you do these things, your children will be at a disadvantage as they won’t have decisions that they can call their own. There are 3 hats of parenting Brother Bo shared that parents can take note of as their children grow.

Controlling Hat - this should be worn when they are only toddlers as they will obviously be in trouble if parents will just let them be.
Coaching Hat - this is applicable when your children are already 9 years old and above where you don’t enter their field, but let them make their own decisions like a real coach.
Consulting Hat - where you only suggest or give them advice as they graduated or are working already.

Remember that you’re the one who has a problem if you are overparenting. Though, it will not be too late to acknowledge and overcome that. Brother Bo advises that you allow your kids to make mistakes, to give them space to figure things out on their own, to choose your battles, and to not save them from every pain. The world will not always be kind, but you’re being kind to them if you let them choose themselves the person they want to be despite everything that they may encounter. You’ll be teaching them to be brave.

4

Focus on character, not control.

It might be hard to admit but parents love control because they’re not trusting God and their children. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says that “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” At the end of the day values are caught, not taught so give your kids time to mature. Planting seeds doesn’t mean harvesting them tomorrow.

5

Support their dreams.

Brother Bo promotes homeschooling as it gives children a little bit more space and time to explore their passions. It’s important that they figure it out on their own and not impose it onto them. Sadly, some parents use their kids as their retirement plan. It’s plain wrong to trap them into something they do not want to do themselves. Let them naturally support you if they love you. There are also cases where some parents use their kids to fulfill their unfulfilled dreams and use them as trophies for their self-worth. Your children are entirely different beings—they are not owned by anyone. When you let go, you can be at peace to let them be and pursue their own dreams.

6

Honor your kids more.

It goes without saying that you should respect your children more. Take time to listen to them more as that would make them feel that they matter. You will affirm that their thoughts and feelings are valid. Further, catch them doing right. Celebrate their small wins and good deeds. Brother Bo’s recommended ratio is to catch them 7 times doing right and 1 wrong.

7

Spend fun time together.

One of the best ways to get to know your children better is through quality time that can be shared during family meals or activities. When dining, ban all sermons and fill the table with laughter and inspiration instead. One-on-one dates can also do wonders. Time with family is crucial to build solid relationships and understanding of one another.

8

Love God together.

Perhaps, this is the most important of all. Brother Bo ended his talk with Proverbs 22:6 that says “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Parenting will never be an easy road but keep in mind that many parenting hurdles will be solved if you do inner work. Start reflecting and acknowledging your own shortcomings. Accept the fact that you won’t always be right and the rest will follow. Your children are their own person. Trust God that they will become the best version of themselves with your not-so-strict guidance.