Love Cosio's "Bearing Pandemic Stress as a Wife and a Mother"

Provinciated Mooma
Jul 14, 2021
4 min read

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Starting a family has never been easy. Considered as the light of every home, wives and mothers carry a huge pressure not to let their vibrance get dull. It seems as though they feel that the family will take a damaging hit once they lose control -- of themselves, and of everything going on at home. While this is understandable, social media manager and author Love Cosio tells everyone during a Feast TV Live last July 1 entitled “Bearing Pandemic Stress as a Wife and a Mother” that it’s okay not to be okay.

As a wife and mother herself, she acknowledges that there was much more liberty before the COVID-19 pandemic happened. It just surprised everyone and changed their way of life.

Though, it is also no secret that stress is already there even before dealing with this persisting crisis. It just intensified all the unpleasant emotions such as fear and anxiety. More than the tasks, dealing with them made women feel more burdened with doing everything right. They had to think of the general welfare of the family while transitioning to making all things work in the safety of their homes.

Indeed, their freedom of going out and having the space to do whatever else they need have perished. There’s no other choice but to deal with this new reality.

Love shared practical tips on how to bear pandemic stress both as a wife and a mother. Starting with marriage, she underscored three things that allowed her to support her husband while pursuing the things that she’s passionate about.

1

Get the necessary support.

She advises not to always magnify your spouse’s weaknesses but apply the 75-25-5 rule instead.

The 75% is focusing on strengths, affirming their efforts as they are also having a hard time keeping the family afloat.
It’s also important to spend the 25% on doing new things together. She said that the pandemic made them appreciate the little things in life better, making happiness so easy to find. For her, the pandemic “didn’t take out life’s specials but brought out life’s essentials.”
The 5% part of the rule is tackling the weaknesses as it would also help in identifying points of improvement as individuals.

2

Practice effective communication.

There is no shame in reaching out if you’re having a hard time. The challenge which Love noted is in case your partner is not open to discuss the awkward yet important things.

Don’t give up though by starting with opening up yourself first. It’s really about trust and showing vulnerability. After all, you’re husband and wife.

There might be issues that were suppressed because you’re both busier in pre-pandemic days but now, there’s no running away anymore. Strive to heal for your marriage and for your family. Don’t sweat the small stuff in order to focus on the bigger scheme of things.

3

Go back to prayer.

Embrace the fact that you cannot control everything--only God can. If you don’t know what to do, talk to Him and to other married couples whom you trust.

If there’s anything that can help us survive aside from trusting the Lord is a sense of an uplifting community.

These are all basic yet difficult steps to take since they all require honesty to oneself and to one another. Start with acknowledging that today’s situation is incredibly stressful as it has force and frustration. However, with the drive to keep bearing this stress and functioning as a good wife and mother, you sometimes have to let go and let it be.

There are also three other things that you can practice as a mother which Love enthusiastically shared. She gets real when saying that women’s brains are wired since they think about too many things at once unlike their husbands who can most likely think about one thing at a time. Well, that’s how it is and she advised not to force them to do otherwise.

When things get tough, you must simply embrace the calling of being a wife and a mother. You’ll get more stressed if you always want things to go your way.

Surrender your worries to God and focus on the role you have, taking one step at a time. Remember that it’s also alright to ask for help--to be open to your husband or children if they already have the bandwidth to comprehend that there are days when you don’t feel good.

You’ll not always be at your optimal state so don’t keep your frustration and exhaustion in. To prevent this, set aside time to discuss the house chores and other responsibilities with your husband so both of you won’t get too caught up in caring for your children.

The main cause of stress for most families is the finances. Love said not to spend on stuff you don’t really need and not to use credit cards anymore. Budget with your spouse and be SMART with your goals.

There are certainly a couple of things you can do to find rest amidst stress as you try to do all the aforementioned tips. You don’t need to feel guilty when you crave for me-time because that’s basically self-care. Go for it.

If there’s anything to be mindful of, “don’t let your yearning for self-love drive you away from your loved ones.” This is why openly communicating to God, to yourself, to your husband, and even to other women who relate to you is essential to stay sane. Yes, you’re a woman who holds a colossal responsibility but you’re also still a human being. God always has a plan.

Trust His heart as you go, MOMspired!

Another chance for you to care for your well-being is to learn and be inspired by the messages of different speakers at the www.jewelsconference.com.